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Flamboyant Remedy

I had a better day. I visited my super awesome therapist today(who wants me to think of a cooler name then therapist if I'm going to blog about her because the word therapist is boring and has a negative connotation and she is most definitely neither of those adjectives. So I'm gonna call her The Boss Lady or my Flamboyant Remedy until I find something that fits her large personality more). So yeah. The Boss Lady taught me how to meditate today. It uniquely and temporarily relieved my anxiety. I had to meditate two other times today. Oh I I ate real food without throwing it up today! So yeah! Progress!

My nana talked to my doctor and after having anxiety since 7th grade my nana has finally decided that she will allow me to be put on anxiety meds. I'm also changing my depression meds because they most definitely wear off around 6 o'clock or earlier everyday. But my doctor has to see me in order to change the medication so it won't change until next week probably. And then another two weeks until it works.

I still haven't been on Facebook or snapchat and I'm completely happy without them because my anxiety level has decreased a decent amount without them.

Side note: I got my other ear hung cut off today

One of my managers at work told me that I was a very genuine person tonight at work. And that literally made my day. I only ever get told what I do wrong whether it be with grades, riding, or any other thing. Very seldom do I get complemented on anything. Which sounds kind of bratty and selfish to say because it sound like I'm asking for compliment(which I'm not so please don't do that because it would be really weird). I just rather if someone criticizes me to tel me what I'm doing right and then tell me what I'm doing wrong. Because it doesn't kill my soul as much as it would if you tell me only the negative thing. That made no sense but I don't care.

And I actually want to ride tomorrow. Like I haven't actually wanted to ride. It has been more of a necessary chore that I had to do becaue I am under contract. However I am still avoiding communication with humans as most as I can because it is the other cause of my anxiety this week. I'm also still not in my normal happy mood so I don't want to say something out of term and piss someone off or hurt someone's feelings so I'm choosing not to say anything. Normally I have general anxiety but apparently I have general and social anxiety this week?? I'm not sure how that works but whatever.

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