I'm tired of how much my emotion controls my day. I'm tired at how someone can say something positive to you and you not believe it or have it effect you. However the moment someone says something negative to you, you believe it and your whole rest of your day and possibly longer just sucks. I'm tired of people talking about their horses and their bonds with their perfect horse while mine is the ground. I'm tired of giving people everything I have whether it be emotion or action and in return getting a slap in the face. I'm tired of having to go to the barn to see my dead horse and having to talk to her in an open place. I'm tired of people thinking I'm crazy because I'm depressed. I'm tired of people trying to act like they know how I feel or what I lost because last time I checked they didn't loose their soul and have their heart shattered into trillions of pieces. I'm tired of people thinking that I post stuff about Uma or my depression to get attention when in reality Uma is forever my life and it seems like depression will also be. Im tired of people thinkig I'm suicidal or cutting myself because of my depressing blogs. You better be damn sure that if I was, I wouldn't be posting about it. I'm tired of going to sleep every night knowing that I have to wake up and deal with all of these things over and over again. I'm tired.
I have my first essay for college. I low key love writing papers so I'm excited but I'm probably going to fail it because my teacher is hardcore with grades. Side note: every time my boyfriend texts me I automatically do this stupid little giggle like I'm 5. Someone please slap me. (my boyfriend doesn't like reading my blogs because he doesn't know if they are going to be sad or not so hopefully he won't read this so he can't bug me about it) I took a five hour nap... I have this cold/allergy thing and it plus school/work/riding just draining me of all energy. My boyfriend took his ASVAB today for the military and he did really well!!! When he told me I started crying because he has wanted it so bad and I'm so proud of him! PS: the title is the song I was listening to... Hold Up by Beyoncé because she is queen 👑
Comments
Post a Comment