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In Reality

In reality no one cares how I feel. No one truly cares about me. It's just an act they put on to be nosy. Or they feel bad about something they did in the past or claim they understand and try to "help". They only ask me questions so they can tell themselves later that at least they "tried" to figure out what was bothering her. I try everyday to give out as much love as I have to my family and friends but I never feel like it is reciprocated. I just feel like I keep giving and giving and even do the smallest of things to make people happy and it isn't ever returned. I write to express my thoughts and feelings instead of bothering people with them for a reason. I'm not on here writing for attention but to the people who do read, Please stop pretending to care and pretend I was never here.

I miss my Uma. I never felt that way with her. She was my love. I gave her all my heart and time and she gave me all her love and determination. I just want my pony back. More than anything. I miss having my connection with her. We got to the point to where we could read each other's thoughts. We could determine each others next move. And I know I'll never have it again because my heart is cold and barren without her.

To the few people who read my blog, don't call, text, message me or even try to talk to me about this blog because I'm having a bad day and these are just FEELINGS I'm having. If you feel like this is you well it might be. Not saying it is but I'm not saying it isn't. It is in general how I feel about my everyday circumstances.. And I'm not sorry if you get offended because my life was shattered into pieces a while ago so stop worrying about what a girl who is in flames thinks. She will probably be gone soon enough.

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